I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
