Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize