stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
