if you like me you must not know who I am
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she told me i tasted like america
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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