On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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