I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
