i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
