girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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