I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
