even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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