she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
