Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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