the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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