That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
