After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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