Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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