I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
