dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
