I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
