I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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