im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
