I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
