A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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