i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
