He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
