I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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