We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
