Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
