In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just invented taco cereal.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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