Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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