i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
