she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
They have beer where we have blood.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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