a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
