Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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