My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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