he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
