Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Everything about him screamed your future.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
