Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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