He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
