I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
In America we eat man semen.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
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