Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
