my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
