Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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