one might say we're banned from that church
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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