so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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