I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
