i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
