Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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