yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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