I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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