im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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