This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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