What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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