i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
