Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
