My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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