Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
